In which I decide to write the book I can’t find anywhere.
I’ve been looking for a book that would provide guidance on what to do next. Since I can’t find one, I’ll have to write it myself!
Oh, lest I forget, this is Copywrited by me.
Chapters, neither organized nor in final order just thrown out there.
These are just chapter descriptions, to be actually written later. And, if there doesn’t turn out to be that much to say, then this will start out as a magazine article not a book.
1. A tidal wave is just soooo disruptive.
Something has happened to throw everything off track. It might be divorce, illness, job loss, kids moving out, kids moving in, death, birth, it doesn’t matter what, but something has just messed things up.
In my case, it’s the need to find a new job in the next few months.
2. A time to wallow.
Go on, take a little time to feel sorry for yourself, whine, pout, be irrational, indulge in your vices of choice, bore your friends, delight your enemies, blog about it, whatever. Why am I such a loser? Why do bad things always happen to me? Exaggerate, get it out of your system.
In fact, why not exaggerate to a ludicrous extreme?
“This is so awful, and it’s just my luck. Nothing good has ever happened to me, nothing ever will, it’s all awful, and it’s all my fault. ____ was right when they said I was nothing but a ____ .”
3. But, I liked my old life!
And, why not idealize what’s lost, as long as it’s lost. Romanticize that job, person, friend, lover, town, partner, vacation, house, occupation, that is lost forever. Airbrush over the complaints you had, and mourn it.
In my case, I really did like my job. And now is the time to only think about what I loved about it … and forget the commute, the awkward fit between me and the job description, the essential lonliness of being 35 years older the other people in my position.
4. It’s not fair!
Really, it’s not fair, is it?
But, you do know what Jimmy Carter said, don’t you?
5. It’s NEVER the right time.
Of course, this has happened at the absolutely worst time, right? Here’s a tip – it’s always going to be the worst time.
In my case, I am figuring out a new job and/or career at the worst possible time. The economy is awful, I’m dealing with medical issues, and I’m having a bad hair day.
6. It’s a big project.
This is what I need to do:
Identify what I would like to do next.
Figure out how to get there.
Get there (into a new job)
In order to accomplish this, I will have to
Dream big, but, keep it realistic.
This will involve, first of all:
7. Get to know myself a bit better
What kind of fool am I?
What are my gifts and graces? What are my faults?
What are my essential values?
I don’t know about you, but when I see these lists in self-help books, I always have the same answer: “I dunno.”
Followed by a spiral loop back into self-recrimination and self-pity.
I picture all these other people decisively knowing themselves, and briskly circling the answers to “know yourself” quizzes, while the only answer I can really relate to is the last question in the quiz:
Circle A if you wish you could explain all your answers.
More later! Don’t worry that this is starting out negative. Once I sort out my psyche, heal all unresolved emotional issues, identify my Core Values, figure out my Best Life, and then synthesize my personal vision with the current economic climate – well, Bob’s your uncle, I’ll be sitting pretty!