Category Archives: Me Me Me

“Go get the paper.”

“I think we should switch the New York Times and the N&O to digital. We’d save a lot of money.”

Well, yes we’d save some money. It’s also more environmentally healthy, all those trees not being used for paper. We’ll do it I suppose, but I’m not enthusiastic.

It’s obviously a generational thing, dating from a time when kids had paper routes, moms saved clippings, and the latest update arrived with the paper and not on your phone.

I like newspapers. They wait patiently if you get busy for a day or two. You can spread them out on the table, or give them a brisk shake as you turn a page. They’re useful for packing, painting, and lining canary cages. And the last thing I need is to spend more time staring at a screen.

When I was a kid, the driveway was two tenths of a mile long and “getting the paper” was a chance to daydream for a few minutes. “The puzzle” referred to the NY Times crossword, which gets harder as the week progresses.

For 36 years of married life, we’ve taken at least two papers. We’ve dashed out to get them before the rain started, cut out recipes (So old fashioned) and given “the paper boy” (usually a 50 year old man) twenty dollars at Christmas.

So, yeah, I guess it’s time to go digital, but I’m not excited about it.

#newspapers

Past Present and Future

Mothers Day.

My time as an active day-to-day mom is in the past. My own mother died 15 years ago. When you do your job right, you render yourself unnecessary – my mom said that about motherhood. The child becomes an adult with a partner or family that is the center if their life, exactly as it should be. Time to move on.

I have a box of old family letters in the closet that I should maybe get rid of. They certainly don’t spark joy. Some are hurtful, even mean.

The past. Do the old letters, old books, old things, connect me to the Past? Why do I want that – am I going to forget my childhood if I don’t keep old detritus around? And why would forgetting some things be a big deal?

I have lots of current projects and ideas for the future, but I’m haunted by the fear that I was a generally Bad Mother – wounding and harmful rather than nurturing and inspiring. I’ve sought therapy, not to resolve gripes about my parents, but to figure out if I was really so awful. I’ve done searching moral inventories of my mistakes.

But why? Why can I forgive myself for normal failings, since most of the time things were okay, even good, and my mistakes were well within normal range?

I think it goes back to accepting that the whole mother with children thing is over.

So, Big Realizations. First, as long as I participate in drama, I’m not coming to grips with the reality that the only healthy relationship for adults is an adult one. Secondly, I can unilaterally withdraw from the drama.

I can burn old letters. I can let go of drama that serves only to perpetuate long-outgrown roles. I can engage less with the past and more with the future. I can stay on my side of the street.

Happy Mother’s Day – we all do our best, and we all benefit by forgiving ourselves.

One Last Job

How many movies have you seen, nonexistent readers, in which a criminal decides to go straight, only to be lured into One Last Job?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneLastJob

See, for example, Thief, Heist, Getaway, Sexy Beast, and Unforgiven.

But it’s not just criminals! Sometimes legal writers are coaxed back for one last job after retirement! Maybe a 2 or 3 month 29 hour a week gig?

Stay tuned, NRs!

The Old Homeplace

Well, my dad is 85 and it’s time to sell the farm where I grew up.
Just the usual Circle of Life business again!

It’s a 150 year old house on 12 acres with outbuildings, meadows, and
a real-life ghost story.

So, I created a blog about it with photos, and here it is:

Shenkel Farm

Hope you like it!

What I See Now!

It’s been about five weeks since I had eye surgery (scleral buckle and vitrectomy),
and my vision is finally starting to improve!

What I see with my left eye, the normal one:

Here is what I see with both eyes (getting better!)

And here is how it looks with my right eye (the recovering one).

A Pretty Photo of the Young’un

As my mom used to say, “Water rises higher than its source”

A Pretty Photo of the Young'un

As my mom used to say, “Water rises higher than its source”