Blue Blues

I’m finding the normal ebbs and flos of emotion harder to steer these days. In the olden days six months ago, if I hit a down mood, there were a lot more options for cheering up – meet a friend for lunch, volunteer in the community garden, see a movie, go to a book club meeting, or even that most trivial of remedies, shopping.

Now I’m pretty isolated, like everyone else, and it’s harder to keep perspective. This is the vicious spiral I need to interrupt: Feel a little blue for some reason, or no reason. Feel ashamed of that, because I have nothing to complain about. Decide I shouldn’t contact anyone until I’m cheerful again, because I might bring them down or they might think I’m weak and whiny. Become more isolated. Start stupidly comparing myself to friends who love Zoom get togethers and meet someone different every day for socially distanced socializing. Become even more isolated. You see the problem?

I’m writing this in case I’m not the only one who sometimes struggles these days. With any luck we’re halfway through this. It’s been 6 months and there might be a vaccine in another 6 months, right? Meanwhile, it’s only natural to get frustrated or sad sometimes.

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